


Meditation Under Stars

by chaibrows



Series: Prompts/Shorts Etc. [1]
Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Ficlet, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Prompt Fic, Space Metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 03:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5274386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaibrows/pseuds/chaibrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>things you said under the stars and in the grass.</i> </p><p>Chris and Zach have a moment to themselves for reflection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meditation Under Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Minific for a prompt on tumblr. I enjoyed writing it and figured I may as well just put it here, too. The title is shamelessly taken from the George Meredith poem also referenced within the work.

“You know, sometimes I can't help but be jealous.”

Zach snorts, and rolls over onto his side so that he's facing Chris directly. “You, jealous? Never.”

That comment stings a little bit, but Chris understands that Zach is only teasing, and he shoves the hurt aside. “Okay. That was rude. I was about to wax poetic and you interrupted me. Unbelievable.”

“I’m sorry.”

“As you should be. I was building up to it and you ruined it. Even if I start over, it won’t have nearly the same effect now. I hope you’re happy, Zach.” Chris crosses his arms over his chest and puts the pout in full swing.

“Quit being a drama queen. Don't give me that face, Pine. Start over, and I promise I won't make fun you of this time. It’ll be extremely difficult considering you're very easy to tease, and you blush hard, and it's adorable-” Zach cuts off, and tries to suppress his laughter at the glare Chris throws his way. “I'm sorry. I won't speak unless I have to, okay?”

“Okay.” Chris lies back in the itchy grass, contented with Zach’s (admittedly not that great) sacrifice.

“So you're jealous?”

Chris doesn't answer immediately and it's quiet, except for various insect noises from the field around them, and the rustling of the grass from the night breeze.

“Yeah. I'm jealous. Of Captain Kirk.”

“Of Captain Kirk?” Zach asks, sitting up to look at Chris. He's confused.

Chris makes a grand, sweeping gesture at the starry sky. “Look at all this. Look at what we're missing. That's beautiful and here we are, stuck in an infinitesimal existence where we can't experience any of it.”

“ _Implacable they shine to us who would of life obtain an answer for the life we strain to nourish with one sign._ ”

“I appreciate your insight, but now is not the time to get poetic. I'm trying to make a point. And you said you wouldn’t interrupt me.”

“Sorry.”

“It's unfair. Really, it is,” Chris continues. The gently waving grasses tickle his neck and the sides of his face as he gazes up at the endless black dotted with stars above them. “There’s just something so enticing and appealing about the idea of spending a life in space. I think it’s the inconceivability of the whole thing; knowing that danger lurks with every breath but that the rewards are innumerable, you know?”

Zach sounds a little far away when he answers. “Oh. Yeah, I know. But at least some people get to go to space. Not all of us are stuck.” He puts a hand on Chris’ arm and rubs before withdrawing.

Again, that desperate ache takes root in Chris' chest, a deep want for something so unattainable. And how fitting, he realizes as sneaks a glance at Zach, who's lying silently, eyes shut, face turned towards the night sky. Chris usually prides himself on his talent of reading people he's close to, but for the life of him he can't begin to imagine what Zach is feeling. If his thoughts are anything like Chris’ are right now, it’s a miracle in itself that Chris can’t hear the turmoil.

He was jealous of Captain Kirk.

Because of Kirk’s opportunity for lifetime exploration of the great beyond, sure, of course, but also because at the end of all things, Kirk really does end up with Spock.

Chris chances another glimpse of Zach's face and thinks that at least when the end of all things comes, whatever things they may be ( _Trek, his career, his sanity, this?_ ), at least Zach will still be around. Just not in all the ways Chris wants him to be.

Because he's not actually Kirk. Zach's not actually Spock. And no matter how badly Chris may want that life, it's just fiction.

It's all just pretend.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Also posted to my [tumblr](http://cardassiansunrise.tumblr.com).


End file.
